CONTENT:

1. Learning from Fear
2. How to Overcome the Fear of Dying
3. How to Cultivate a Spiritual Relationship
4. The Many Manifestations of Fear

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Learning from Fear By Dr. Tim Ong, M.B.B.S. Nobody likes to feel fearful and because of that, most people will habitually react to fear by avoiding, repressing or suppressing it. It takes courage and wisdom to see that our fear can be our greatest teacher. When we examine our fear, we will often discover that it is irrational. There is no real basis or substance to our fear. That is why fear is often described as "False Evidence Appearing Real". Fear is a self created illusion built upon past experiences or imprints. The situation may have changed but the imprints compel us to react in a knee jerk manner without proper examination and re-evaluation of the new situation. The good news is that this habit or tendency CAN be transformed. The Fear of Rejection One of the most common fears is the fear of rejection. This fear comes in many forms. For example, a person with this fear often feels it a challenge to talk to authority figures, whether these be their parents, teachers, superiors or even government bodies. They are especially fearful to ask for or request things from these people. The feeling of fear of rejection is an automatic response that arises from past experience of rejections from these same authority figures. Another manifestation of this fear of rejection is in the inability to say "no" to other people's requests. This is the other end of the spectrum and arises because of the fear of being rejected by the person who made the request. Confront Your Fear The best way to overcome your fear is to confront it. However, there are two opposing ways to confrontation. You can confront your fear with great compassion and gentleness, or you can confront it combatively. The more skillful and effective way is naturally to confront it compassionately. When you confront your fear compassionately, you'll soon discover the underlying false belief that gives rise to that fear. You'll learn that the external situation is merely a mirror reflection of your inner mental state. That false belief gives rise to a correspondingly false perception of reality, thus the irrationality of the fear. Confronting your fear compassionately means to see it without any judgment and blame. It means to take responsibility for your emotion and even to embrace it with love. When you can do this, you'll be grateful for your fear because you know it is there only as a teacher. It is there to help you see your real self. So the next time you experience fear, pause for a moment and examine it with love and compassion. Allow this teacher to show you the lesson you need to learn. As they said, "Do the things you fear and the death of fear is certain." Author: Dr. Tim Ong is a medical doctor with keen interests in self improvement, mind science and spirituality. He is the author of From Fear to Love: A Spiritual Journey and a contributor to 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 3 together with other authors like Ken Blanchard, Byron Katie, Mark Victor Hansen and Les Brown.

How to Overcome the Fear of Dying By Dr. Tim Ong, M.B.B.S. As a doctor and a hospice volunteer, one of the most common fears that I encounter in my job is the fear of dying. In fact, this fear is so common that we have come to accept it as part and parcel of our life. In our fear-driven world where a lot of our actions are motivated by fear, the fear of dying seems like just another fear we need to live with. However, I have had the good fortune to come across people who are able to die with courage, dignity and peace. During their final days and even up to the moment of death, they remained in peace and without a trace of fear. It almost looked as if they welcome death. Regardless of the kind of illnesses they may be suffering from, each of these people have some common traits. 1. A Strong Faith in their Spirituality People who die a peaceful death very often lead a very peaceful life as well. They have this inherent faith in their own spirituality and that death is not the be-all-and-end-all. These people need not necessarily be regular church-goers. In fact, just because you go to church regularly does not automatically confer upon you a peaceful life or death. On the contrary, people who are spiritual lead a life of principles, based on self responsibility, non-judgmental and fair play. They are not hung on dogmas or beliefs. However, they are sure of their link to the divine, regardless of whether you called it God, Universal Mind, Allah or Brahma. 2. A habit of acceptance They have this wonderful trait of acceptance. They don't easily get upset when things do not turn out the way they had expected it. In fact, they don't have unnecessary expectations. If things turned out the way they wanted, fine. If not, that's O.K. too. They don't create a fuss or make a big deal of things. They accept whatever life has to offer them, knowing that things happened for good reasons, and that there are lessons they can gain from them. They see life as a spiritual growth. 3. A blessing to others Because of their belief in spirituality, they see all lives as inter- connected and inter-dependent. Thus, they feel the desire to be of help to others. They are often involved in community services or volunteering organizations. They are concern about the environment and world peace. Yet, they recognize their limits and are not easily frustrated or despaired by things that are beyond their control. They strive to be a blessing to others. They cultivate friendship with all beings and value relationships. These traits hold them in good stead when death approaches. They have few, if any, regrets and they welcome the liberation that comes with the separation of the spirit from the old and ailing physical body. Perhaps we can learn from them. Author: Dr. Tim Ong is a medical doctor with keen interests in self improvement, mind science and spirituality. He is the author of From Fear to Love: A Spiritual Journey and a contributor to 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 3 together with other authors like Ken Blanchard, Byron Katie, Mark Victor Hansen and Les Brown.

How to Cultivate a Spiritual Relationship By Dr. Tim Ong, M.B.B.S. What is a spiritual relationship? A relationship is how we relate to other. A spiritual relationship is a relationship that aims for the highest good for those in the relationship. It is one that facilitates our spiritual growth. Here are some tips on how to cultivate a spiritual relationship with another. 1. A Spiritual Being in Physical Experience Most people believe they are physical human beings, with perhaps some tendency or inclination to seek a spiritual experience. Living with this belief automatically limits our spiritual experience for it puts our spirituality in the backseat. Instead, choose to believe that we are spiritual beings in physical manifestation. This choice automatically brings your spiritual experience into center stage, and you will begin to see every relationship as an opportunity for spiritual growth. Remember, whatever you choose to believe in, you're right, for a belief is merely a perception of reality. 2. Free Will As a spiritual being, we have free will and complete control over our life. However, this is only true IF we have full control over our mind. The more mindful or conscious we are, the more free will we have. Therefore, in every situation in a relationship, we have a choice as to how we choose to respond. We have the freedom to respond positively or negatively. Responding positively not only helps us to grow spiritually but also offer the other person an opportunity to do so as well. When we respond negatively, we miss an opportunity for growth. 3. Do not judge To judge implies that we are superior to another. It implies that we know better or are more evolved. This is the working of the egoic mind. Every time we judge, we validate and strengthen our egoic mind. Our egoic mind is the proverbial devil in disguise. If it cannot win by force, it will try to win through cunning and trickery. It is so good and subtle at this that we are often fooled by it. To judge also implies that we are forcing our own beliefs, concepts, desires and expectations on another. In other words, we are not honoring their free will. Each time we judge another, we are doing ourselves and the other person a disservice. We are perpetuating a negative tendency that continues to validate our egoic mind. At the same time, we encroach on the other person's space and choice, and are more likely to create a resistance in him or her, rather than a positive respond. 4. Do not blame To blame also implies superiority over another. To blame another also means we do not take responsibility for our share in the relationship. A relationship is a two-way thing. It takes two to tango. You cannot clap with one hand. This means that in a relationship, both are equally responsible for the outcome. When we blame another, we are actually saying, "It is your fault, not mine." However, we should also remember not to blame ourselves. Since every relationship is an opportunity for spiritual growth, take every situation as an opportunity to learn and evolve. There is no need to blame oneself or others. 5. Acceptance Learn to accept ourselves and the other person, together with all the strengths and weaknesses. We are here to evolve into a spiritual being with full consciousness in our physical manifestation. Each of us are here for certain unique lessons. Through acceptance, we help each other to grow. Through acceptance, we let go of our tendency to judge, blame and control. In cultivating a spiritual relationship, we are BE-ing unconditional love. Author: Dr. Tim Ong is a medical doctor with keen interests in self improvement, mind science and spirituality. He is the author of From Fear to Love: A Spiritual Journey and a contributor to 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 3 together with other authors like Ken Blanchard, Byron Katie, Mark Victor Hansen and Les Brown.

The Many Manifestations of Fear By Dr. Tim Ong, M.B.B.S. Fear manifests itself in many forms. At its mildest, it is experienced as a vague sense of anxiety or frustration, or a sense of discomfort that is difficult to pin down. At its extreme end, fear can kill. In between these two ends, fear manifests itself in all negative feelings. Take for example anger. At first glance, anger may not seem to have anything to do with fear but on closer scrutiny we can recognize that the root cause of that anger arises from fear. A simple display of anger at someone who suddenly cut into our lane while we are driving has its root in our fear of accident, which means damages to our car, injury to self or even loss of life. The fear of accident has a deeper fear of loss of life and property. Sometimes the anger is directed at ourselves for our carelessness in driving. Procrastination is also a result of fear. People who procrastinate in doing what they needed to do are not facing up to their fears or aversions to certain things and situations. Even laziness may be a symptom of fear in facing up to certain tasks. Greed is a form of fear. The root cause of greed is our fear of not having enough food, money or security. From this root cause grows not only the desire to have enough but to have more than enough so as to cover the fear of loss. The more one fears, the bigger his buffer of security is, and so his needs to accumulate more and more. Fear also manifests itself in the form of poverty, poor health, lack of energy and interests, and depression. Fear also manifests itself as obsessive compulsive disorder, panic attacks and the many types of phobias. It is fear that leads men to war and wanton killings. It is fear that leads to violence. If we can recognize the many faces of fear, we can then see how costly it is to live in fear all the time. Perhaps then we can be motivated to transform fear and find peace. Author: Dr. Tim Ong is a medical doctor with keen interests in self improvement, mind science and spirituality. He is the author of From Fear to Love: A Spiritual Journey and a contributor to 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 3 together with other authors like Ken Blanchard, Byron Katie, Mark Victor Hansen and Les Brown.